-You guys, what an exciting time
this is to be in New York City. There’s a buzz,
there’s a feeling, a vibe, a euphoria sweeping the town,
and there’s one reason. Tonight at
Madison Square Garden, it was the Westminster
Kennel Club Dog Show. Do you feel it?
[ Cheers and applause ] That’s right.
The dog show kicked off tonight and tomorrow,
which means there’s a good chance we’ll know
who won Best in Show before we know
which Democrat won Iowa. [ Laughter ] it was an exciting night
at the dog show. My favorite part was when
Eminem rose from the floor and started rapping
“Lose Yourself.” [ Laughter ] Yeah, everyone is talking
about the Academy Awards. And the big story is
that the South Korean thriller “Parasite” won four Oscars,
including Best Picture. [ Cheers and applause ] Yeah. What an amazing moment
for South Korea. They have “Parasite,”
they have BTS. Meanwhile, North Korea is
this close to dial-up Internet. -Oh.
[ Laughter ] -That’s right.
“Parasite” is the first non-English-speaking film
to win Best Picture, though some
Arnold Schwarzenegger movies come close.
[ Laughter ] [ Speaking indistinctly
as Arnold Schwarzenegger ] [ Laughter ] That’s right, “Parasite”
won Best Picture, while the winner
for Worst Picture was this. [ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] -Oh, my. Come on, come on.
-Over the weekend — -Come on.
[ Laughter ] -I guess, over the weekend,
there was a photo taken of President Trump that
everyone is talking about. Could we see it again?
[ Laughter ] It looks like he just got hit
in the face with a pumpkin pie. [ Laughter ] It looks like he
stuck his head in a volcano. [ Light laughter ] He looks like a paint-sample
card from Home Depot. [ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] Every color.
-Every color. -But Trump is now claiming that
the picture was Photoshopped. [ Audience groans ]
He went further even and said, [ As Trump ] “Actually
every photo of me is Photoshopped.
Here’s the real picture.” [ Normal voice ]
Yeah, that’s better. [ Laughter ] But back at the Oscars, I saw
there was some controversy with this year’s
“in memoriam” segment. Critics are saying
they left out some big actors and they also forgot to include
Joe Biden’s campaign. [ Audience ohs ] [ Laughter ] -Snap. -Oh, it’s a fun —
It’s a fun night. Yeah, you can do it.
[ Laughter ] It’s a roller coaster
monologue. “Whoa! Oh, oh, oh!” [ Laughter ] Last, night
the movie “American Factory” won best documentary. It was actually produced by
Barack and Michelle Obama. And now some other political
candidates have announced that they’re making
their own movies to compete in
next year’s Oscars. -Oh.
-Yeah, for example, Mike Bloomberg is making one
called “I Could Buy Ford and Ferrari.” [ Laughter and applause ] Joe Biden is making one called “The Irishman I Fought
at a Pool Hall in 1956.” [ Laughter and applause ] Bernie Sanders is making one
called “Hair-a-sight.” [ Laughter ] And finally, President Trump
is making one called
“Third Marriage Story.” [ Audience groans ] [ Cheers and applause ] -Wow. Some 2020 news. Yesterday at a campaign event
in New Hampshire, Joe Biden called a woman a, “lying, dog-faced
pony soldier.” Most people didn’t know
what it meant, but it turns out it’s a reference
from a John Wayne movie. So that ought to bring in
the youth vote. [ Laughter ]
Well, this is going viral. Yesterday in New Hampshire,
a group of young supporters sang Joe Biden a version
of a Backstreet Boys song with his name.
Take a look. -♪ Joe Biden, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Joe Biden, yeah, yeah ♪ [ Laughter ] [ Applause ] -It got worse,
five minutes later, when they started singing
NSYNC’s “Bye Bye Bye.” [ Laughter ]
-Oh. -This went viral.
Over the weekend, people have become obsessed with
footage of an owl running. Have you seen this? I didn’t even know owls ran,
but they do. [ Light laughter ] It’s pretty cute,
but it’s bizarre. Look, look.
That’s an owl running. [ Laughter ] Yeah. I didn’t even know
they did that. Well, of course, it’s already
inspired some memes. For example, that’s, “Everyone at the airport in
zone 3 when zone 2 is called.” [ Laughter ] [ Speaking indistinctly ] It’s also, “Rudy Giuliani when he hears Trump say,
‘Here, boy.'” [ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] Wow. And finally that’s,
“Bernie Sanders heading to the men’s room
after a three-hour debate.” [ Laughter and applause ] [ As Sanders ]
“Got to get there. Gotta get it,
quick, quick, quick. Quick, quick, quick, quick!” [ Applause ] [ Normal voice ] And finally,
over the weekend, while trying to avoid a storm
at British Airways, a flight from New York to London broke a speed record
at over 800 miles per hour. Good news is,
they beat the storm. Bad news is, everyone
who got off the plane now permanently looks like this.
[ Laughter and applause ] We have a great show!