5 ways to create stronger connections | The Way We Work, a TED series


Translator: TED Translators admin
Reviewer: Joanna Pietrulewicz So when was the last time
that you wrote a handwritten note? It’s probably been a while. [The Way We Work] Technology has changed
the way we communicate. We send emails, not letters, text messages, not phone calls. We order delivery instead of
cooking dinners in our kitchen. All in the name of efficiency. But here’s the point. Technology has made it
easier to communicate. But it hasn’t made it easier to connect with other human beings. I’ve found that the secret to connecting in the high-tech, fast-paced
world that we live in, is doing a few small things
the old-fashioned way. Write a letter. I’ve written thousands
of handwritten notes. Thanking people for advice,
thanking them for an interview. It just puts that extra effort
to show someone that you really care and that you’re willing
to go above and beyond. Some advice for writing a thank-you letter
is to really make it clear to the person that you’re writing to the impact that they
have had on your life. Talk about something specific. Like “Thank you
for the advice that you gave me. It’s because of the advice you gave me,
that I am now doing x.” People are looking to make a difference. And so if you can show someone
that they’ve really had an impact on the life that you’re living,
the life you’re pursuing, it could have a huge impact. Pick up the phone and dial. We’ve hired thousands of employees. And I’ve personally called
every single one of them to welcome them to the Compass family. I’m able to set the tone
of really what I want the company to be. Where, you know,
people go above and beyond to make people feel welcomed
and to give people a sense of belonging. And sometimes I call people
on their last day of work. When people leave,
sometimes they’re more transparent than they ever were when they
were still at the company. And so it’s a great opportunity
to get feedback that is very hard to get otherwise. Ask interesting and meaningful questions
when you get outside of the office. When I’m traveling the country, every night I’ll have dinner
with people in the company. And I like to ask questions like
“What’s your underlying motivation? What’s something that’s happened
this week that meant a lot to you?” And when you go around the table, and people really open up
and are able to engage, it sets a different tone. When people come back to the office, they can see each other
and they know each other in a deeper way. Answer questions with honesty. You know how it feels
when you go into an elevator and someone says, “How was your weekend?” It could’ve been the best weekend ever,
you could’ve met the love of your life, and you would say, “Good, how was yours?” If you want to connect with people,
then you have to open up. I’m not always that good at it,
and I imagine most people aren’t. But that’s why being open
stands out so much, because most people aren’t. Turn the video on. I would always recommend
a videoconference over a phone call. Because that’s when you can see
the real personality come out. When you’re on video,
you’re forced to be present. It’s almost a forcing mechanism
to be in the moment. Nobody succeeds alone. The more you can take time to develop genuine,
authentic relationships, the more you’re going to be able
to realize your dreams. You’re going to be able to take big risks
and know that there’s a network of people to cheer you on
and to support your efforts.

23 Replies to “5 ways to create stronger connections | The Way We Work, a TED series”

  1. Is it me or are the Ted guys having less and less facial hair, and getting more and more in our faces? Sort of like… Buzzfeed.

  2. Adding a bunch of videos all at once is a complete waste of time. I might watch one or two… But the rest will scroll away before I get to them. Please stop doing this.

  3. Imagine this comment being a handwritten letter – thank you Mr Reffkin you impacted my life because I'm gonna try these and I'm sure it will strengthen my connections to the people around me.

  4. Summary
    1. Write a letter
    2. Pick up the phone & dial
    3. Ask interesting & meaningful questions
    4. Answer questions with honesty, rather then abstraction
    5. Turn the video on

  5. TED, don't let your interns upload and release 8 videos at the same time. Marketing, projections, growth, bla bla bla, but no please.

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